A few months ago a friend suggested that I read “Killing Lincoln: The Shocking Assassination that Changed America Forever” by Bill O’Reilly and Martin Dugard. What a fascinating book about a man who still is considered today, the best president of the United States. After reading “Killing Lincoln” it was inevitable for me to read O’Reilly and Dugard’s follow up book “Killing Kennedy: The End of Camelot”. I found “Killing Kennedy” to be just as good, maybe better than “Killing Lincoln” because of the authors’ willingness to share stories about President Kennedy’s life behind closed doors. The U.S. has had 44 former presidents and yet the only president considered a playboy was JFK?! I find that hard to believe. All the previous presidents should be lucky the #metoo movement wasn’t during their time. Let me not digress.
Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy were both great leaders that had iconic moments in history. Lincoln saved the union and freed the slaves. Kennedy saved the U.S. from nuclear war and improved civil rights. Presidents Lincoln and Kennedy had a lot more in common than just their leadership; they were both well-educated, aspirational, and had a way with words. One important quality I admire about both men is not necessarily related to their leadership but who they chose as their wife and first lady. Both married educated women with strong family values. We can also say the same about our 44th President, Barack Obama and his leading lady, Michelle.
This article is for anyone but intended for young entry-level professionals who have aspirations to climb the corporate ladder. As you start your career, I want you to remember that your reputation is one of the most valuable things you own. Your reputation is most often based on your overall performance, how you co-pilot the way others perceive you, who you are as a professional and who you are as a person. So, as you start to enjoy happy hours, company functions/parties and other social events, you will eventually be in a position where you have to bring a partner along with you. Be sure to keep in mind that you are not only responsible for yourself and people’s perception of you, but your partner’s behavior can also impact your professional progression. Do not allow your partner to disqualify you from ascending. You should be able to have an open and honest conversation on how you expect them to present themselves in a professional work environment. For instance:
- Enjoy yourself, but set professional boundaries
- If you choose to drink, do so minimally. Limit yourself to 2-3 alcoholic beverages
- Don’t talk about any of your recent or past arguments at work functions
- Don’t talk about any frustrations that you may have shared with your partner about your career and those that you work with or for
- Don’t start twerking when your favorite song comes on
- Be happy, approachable and conversational
- Show interest in the work event that you are attending
- Engage in conversation, be present but don’t attempt to dominate conversations
I have to admit, I do not recall having this conversation with my wife at any time regarding a family event, wedding, family reunion, etc. She carries herself extremely well and I enjoy seeing her be exactly who she is in these situations. However, when it came to professional engagements, we had this conversation early in our relationship. Why? Because work environments are different and it is critical that your partner realize they are representing you. Unfortunately, I have seen many people get disqualified because of their partner’s behavior in a professional setting. We have all witnessed someone that hasn’t made the best choices. I remember my wife sharing stories with me about her colleagues’ significant others being locked in restrooms puking at company parties because they had too much to drink. And just as you suspected, that became the center of conversation in the office that following Monday. It is important to have this conversation with your partner early in your relationship so you do not allow someone else to taint or ruin the reputation you’ve worked so hard to build. Think about choosing a partner that will be your ‘first lady’ or ‘first gentleman’, someone who will boost your reputation rather than disqualify you from your next promotion.
BH nugget:
Don’t allow your partner or anybody for that matter, be the reason your reputation is destroyed. Create rules for yourself and your partner that will allow you both to enjoy work functions, however, know that these events are events where people are looking at everything you do. Do not disqualify yourself from career ascension because of your lack of preparation.
In the next article, I will discuss additional ways that people are getting disqualified in their career.
Recent Comments